Have I mentioned I'm a perfectionist? Since there are actually people who read this blog that haven't known me for years and I can't even tell you what I posted last week, I can't always remember what you, audience, know about me. In case I hadn't mentioned it before, I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
The strongest example of my perfectionism at its best/worst is my grades. I was devastated by my first B in first grade, since at that point I thought there were only too grades: A for good, B for bad. While my teacher and mom calmly explained to me that the B was an excellent grade, above average even, I never really believed them. And in second grade, when I realized that one my best friends, who while a delightful person was not necessarily a future rocket scientist (Actually, she's an accountant now.), was getting straight A's I knew I could achieve that perfection as well. So by some magic, because I was too young to grasp averages and I had always put my all into my school work, from third grade on my report cards were an A-only zone.
The disease got worse in seventh grade when they introduced progress reports. At this point I realized that I could keep track of my grades daily and know exactly what was needed to produce that final A. Through high school there were many near-ulcer moments, but I graduated valedictorian with the perfect 4.0 (and some AP classes).
(I lightened up a little in college, because I realized that B's were not worth crying yourself to sleep over. Of course neither were boys and that was the lesson of the college years. Anyways...)
Another perfection streak that I've always taken pride in is my teeth. I wore my retainer for approximately eight years after braces and I have never had a cavity. Well, until a couple months ago.
The news of my cavity (Well, cavities. There are three. THREE!) and gingivitis might have come as such a shock (I brush, floss and rinse as recommended! And choose substance over taste in selecting toothpaste!) that I switched dentists. (I mean, she said I needed a $165 special cleaning! My teeth can't be that bad!)
Of course new dentist also said I need fillings which will take place in a couple hours. (But should be fine with an extra regular cleaning. Apparently some people's mouths are just dirtier no matter what precautions we take. Who knew.)
You know they give you shots IN YOUR GUMS?!?! I don't like needles. Like I don't like needles so much that the only thing scarier to me than giving birth is giving birth with needles in my arm/back/anywhere. (Although that will be investigated more thoroughly when we're actually trying to have babies.)
I'm sure the whole dentist office thinks I'm an idiot because as we're scheduling this I'm asking questions like, "Can I drive myself home? Do I need a prescription for something? Can I eat before hand?" I guess those are basic questions but this whole filling concept is so foreign to my once perfect little mouth.
And one of the saddest parts of all this, is that apparently these cavities are from where my sealants broke and bacteria got under them. My barrier to cavities was compromised, resulting in...cavities.
Fingers crossed I get through this alive...
(Have I mentioned that I over analyze and melodramatize and generally freak out unnecessarily?)