Re-evaluating

She looks so thoughtful here. Almost like she's not the kind of dog to enjoy eating cat poop. 


Remember when I made all those New Year's resolutions? Yeah that was fun. And (not suprisingly) fairly unsuccessful. I was reading a blog post recently on whether we're more likely to stick to goals if we share them or keep them to ourselves. I think either way, it's about a 50/50 shot for me. But it's nice to write things down, and now that we have a little less than two months left to 2010, I've been thinking about what I really hope to do by the end of the year:


+ Read 5 books. (I've already got 2 of them started.)
+ Scan all those pictures our parents gave us for our wedding slide show so we can have a copy and then finally return them.
+ Sell old electronics and the swing set left by the previous home owners on Craigslist. (If you want a swing set, new all-in-one printer that can't print borderlessly, vacuum with broken hinge (but still sucks in the way vacuums are supposed to), old laptop or old digital camera (runs on AA batteries!), holla.)
+ Finish the birthday present I was going to make for my friend's daughter's second birthday. She's now 3 years and 2 months old. 
+ Clean the grout in the bathroom.
+ Go through all the boxes in the basement. 
+ Paint all the trim in the house white (in progress). 
+ Bake bread (I bought the ingredients a couple months ago).
+ Take one day or evening and spend some quality time with DSLR tutorials and my Nikon Charles. 


Here we go... 

A Bummer Day (which will be stretched out into a very long story)

The summer before I started high school my family and I moved from our small house in the city to a larger home, with a larger yard, in the county. The stipulations for this move was that dad would be able to have a John Deere riding lawn mower, and mom could finally have her chocolate lab.

We got Annie that November. I remember reading Pride and Prejudice for the first time on our way to pick her up. I remember pouting because I wanted a small dog. I remember my sketchy high school boyfriend performing his greatest act as my boyfriend by telling me to suck it up and enjoy the new puppy.

Annie was a lovely dog. Loyal. Kind. Always happy to see you. Always ready to bark when asked (like when the convicts would cut the grass along the highway) and when not asked (like at the plastic bag blowing through the yard). She was patient as, over the past few years, we brought several small annoyances into her life. Like the addition of another dog and cat, and my tendency to bring my dog and cat home for visits. (Annie and Zoey have particularly had issues, but eventually learned to respectfully avoid each other.)

I'm sure you can tell where the rest of this story is going. Awhile ago the vet found some cancer in Annie's mouth, which he easily removed, but it came back and was no longer easy to remove. At 12 years old, we pledged to keep her comfortable for as long as we could, but we can now no longer keep her comfortable. Today mom and dad...well... you know.

I'm glad she's not hurting any more, but she'll be missed.


For the sake of ending things on a brighter note, I'm taking more pictures of the painting results right now and will immediately load and start posting tomorrow!

More to File Under "Neuroses"

I stayed up past my bedtime last night doing...nothing. Except worrying. I'm a worrier. The things I worried about last night varied in importance and immediacy, but they shared one thing in common: I didn't need to worry about them.

This morning I came across a quote, reminding me of how worthless all this worrying really is.

The thing is though, it's good to be prepared. So I worry about how to be prepared, because that's the responsible thing to do, right? I think I confuse "responsible preparedness" with "incessant worry". I have yet to see the latter actually solve anything.

Once again, I'm sure Jane has the answer.

An Apocalyptic Prediction

When I was in college, my dear friend Caitlin and I visited her hometown of San Antonio for spring break. Part of the week-long indoctrination to all things Texas was a Spurs game. To ensure I got the most out of my first NBA experience, Caitlin taught me everything I could possibly want to know about the Spurs, along with other important NBA info, like the Lakers are evil. And since when learning new things it's important to make comparisons to things you already know, I thought of the Spurs as the UK of the NBA. This logically makes the Lakers the Duke of the NBA. (In case you're curious, UofL and Tennessee are more like the Rockets/Mavericks in that they are local annoyances.)

Needless to say I was not happy a few months ago when Duke won the NCAA tournament. I mean, if UK's not going to win, at least not Duke. (Or UofL, Tennessee, UNC, Kansas, Indiana...) That's not too much to ask, right? Right!

So Duke won the college championship and tonight the Lakers could win the NBA finals. I'm not one for apocalyptic predictions because A. They creep me out and B. I just don't buy them (I do buy the Bible's "Not knowing the day or the hour." That seems to be the most likely scenario.). But if the Lakers win tonight, we will live in a world that has Duke and the Lakers as reigning champions. *gag* I figure this is as likely to kick start the end times as any Mayan calendar.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Or at least bring on ten years of plagues and pestilence.

Go Celtics!

Just What I Needed

Do you ever have those days where your silent, secret need is miraculously met? The right person call at the right time and the next thing you know you get the answer you need to the questions and worries that have been stressing you out by scrolling through your mind on a constant cycle of anxiety?

And suddenly you feel light as a feather.

I had that day today.

Not that anything's been solved, I've just got the direction and support I needed to work to solve them. And I really needed that.

(Okay, I knew I had the support and everything, but it's nice to have the conversation just the same.)

Disclaimer: Sorry to be vague. I know that's kind of annoying. Like those Facebook/Twitter statuses that are just like "This all seems pointless." Or "I just don't know what to do anymore." And you're like "What is going on?!" But everything is actually fine. It was before today and it will be tomorrow. But a certain situation could be greatly improved and it's been stressing me out and now I feel better able to deal. Sorry that's still vague and lame. Oh well. Just wanted to celebrate the happiness of things working out like I needed. Three cheers for life's little miracles!


image: treehouse1977

Treading Water

Lately I feel like I've just been treading water. And in a non-metaphorical sense I'm actually horrible at treading water. (I don't know how to swim; I doggie-paddle.) So while treading water is nice because things that need to get done get done, you also don't really get anywhere. There is food to eat, clean clothes to wear, DVR backlog is manageable, but none of the fun stuff gets done: reading, running, cooking special meals, the 300 movies in my Netflix queue (not an over exaggeration, 311 to be exact), blogging, calling friends, seeing friends, half-finished craft projects.

This generally makes me feel funky. I feel like every blog post lately is "I'm in a funk." And if it's not "I'm in a funk", I'm thinking that but don't want to say it...again. Because that would be lame and whiny and I like to think I gave that up after high school college.

But I got some things accomplished this weekend and feel ready for the week. I will not come home feeling lethargic after work every day. I will read. I will run. I will finish craft projects I started months ago. I will enjoy a new season of Glee.

Of course in all the mess above, the resolutions have not been going great. The reading has slacked to pre-resolution levels and the exercise habit never started. But on a positive note, I have been eating well. I gave up sweet treats for Easter and was dreading/looking forward to the Easter candy binging but it didn't happen. I haven't eater more than two Tagalongs in a day. That is definitely some kind of record. And even though I had  forgotten what I was supposed to do in April (Be a better friend.), I wrote a friend a letter last week. So I was resolution-ing without even knowing it.

So here's to Mondays. And new weeks. And swimming to shore.

A Really Good Weekend (honest)

Friday night I had dinner with some of my very good friends from my sorority (Yay ADPi!). We had been at Centre earlier that evening to mourn celebrate our chapter advisor's retirement, and afterward we gathered to talk some more, gossip a lot, and split some pizzas. We've scattered a bit across the state and country, so evenings like this--when SIX of us are able to gather together--are rare and wonderful. As I left the restaurant at 11:30 on Friday night, I realized that already my weekend had been so great that it didn't matter how the whole making-an-offer-on-a-house went.

It continued to not matter all weekend. As we were signing the contract, UK was destroying Tennessee and I hate Tennessee. While they were countering our offer with the list price (for reals?!), I was celebrating my sister-in-law's 21st birthday. While UK played for the SEC championship (Go Cats!), Lee, Realtor, and I decided on our counter-offer plan.

So with all sincerity, I say that I'm okay with possibly not getting this house. We'll make another offer today, and I'm going back and forth over if this is as high as we'll go or not, but I don't need to worry about that yet. I've spent the weekend with people I love and Kentucky is a #1 seed. Life is pretty good!

The Funk

I think I've got a bit of the funk.

This weekend was crazy. Wonderful, but busy. I saw many friends who unless I saw them everyday I could not see them enough. Perhaps because these were friends, who for a brief time, I saw every day. I still don't feel fully accustomed to the idea of barely seeing them 3-4 times a year at best. They're only an hour away, how does that happen?!

So I saw wonderful friends and family this weekend, but really from Thursday through Monday I was not home very much at all. Then the snow came (In light of the SNOWMAGEDON in DC I feel lame just mentioning our 6 inches.) and I got to work from home. While I thought this would give me time to play catch-up, and it did,  I still feel the crazy to-do list towering over me and I can't find the few minutes I need to sit down and just get things sorted out.

Sometimes it feels like life is that mole game. You know the one at Chuck E. Cheese where the moles pop up and you have this big thing to beat them with but there's always another one popping up somewhere else?

I haven't read or worked out nearly as much as I need to. I really need to.

But I made it to the grocery tonight so now I have more food options other than Oreos. (Although I'm still suffering from a menu-planning mental block and even when I look through recipes the only thing I can manage to come up with is spaghetti. Ah...crazy funk!)

And I will be in bed tonight by 11 o'clock. That alone can cure many funks.

Side note: When I say "the funk" I free associate to Old Greg.

Oodles of Resolutions

Ah yes, it's New Year Resolution time.

I love making resolutions. I know that every second of every day I have an opportunity to start over and be a better person than I was the second before. However, when there's a new calender start, the new beginning seems most natural. A new day, a new week, a new month, but most of all a new year, are excellent times to take stock of where you are, remind yourself of where you want to be, and try to get there.

I don't often really write down a lot of goals, or make a lot of plans as to how I will achieve them, so I'm hoping that that was the missing key to accomplishing past resolutions. I have a lot of goals for 2010, 12 to be exact, and I'm going to take them month by month. This month-by-month plan does not mean that I will ignore my goal until its month comes, but each month will have a focus as I try to accumulate some better habits and be a more well-rounded and generally cooler person.

 

January: Be kind.  I want to be kinder and less judgemental. I want to focus on my relationship with God more and living my Christian faith every day. I want to be a better wife, friend, sister, daughter and co-worker. I want to be less selfish. I had wanted to put this month off for more fun months, but this one I think is where I have the most need. By setting aside more time for prayer, seeking more volunteer opportunities, and being more involved at church, I'm hoping to see the big picture, not be so petty and judgmental and love, love, love more.

February: Be well-read. This is probably the one that bugs me the most. I've read so little since college it seriously disgusts me, more than the muffin top (That's saying a lot.). In 2010 I'm going to read 50 books (I'm not even halfway through two books right now and I'm going to count those toward this, but will hopefully read more than 50 anyway.). Reading a book a week should not be hard, especially if I make time to read. Normally reading is that thing I'll do before bed but bedtime rolls around and I can't keep my eyes open. First then when I get home, I will read.

March: Be healthy. I would really love to be in good shape and have actual muscle tone. I don't mind the number on the scale as long as none of that number jiggles and some of my number jiggles. I'm going to investigate more ways to eat healthy, continue trying to buy foods that don't have ingredients I can't pronounce, and make some kind of physical fitness a regular part of my life. Hopefully this month it will be warm enough to start biking.

April: Be a better friend. It seems that as I start keeping in better touch with one friend, I stop keeping in touch with another. I keep thinking, "Oh, I'll call her when I have some free time" and that never really comes. Or I come up with lame excuses like maybe she's at dinner. Who knows when she's eating, she doesn't have to answer the phone or she can tell me she'll call me back. I'm going to make the time to call. And start writing real letters more. I love real letters.

May: Be Stylish. Have you seen the trailer for the new Sex and the City movie? I highly recommend it. At :18, you can see a glimpse into my dream life. Who doesn't have that dream? I could just watch :15-:25 of that trailer on repeat and drool. The opening scene of The Devil Wears Prada causes similar feelings. Since we'll hopefully be in a house at this point (Whee!) I hope to be thinking about decorating the house and myself. Perhaps finding a personal style and not just settling for fitted tees and boot cut jeans everyday. (Perhaps fitted tee and boot cut jeans with a fun belt? Brightly colored shoes? Skinny jeans since I'm sure I'll be jiggle-free by May? ;) )

June: Be a better photographer. Check out some books. Research some online tutorials. Figure out Photoshop Elements.

July: Be a better writer/blogger. Plan more posts. Participate more in the blog community, especially 20 Something Bloggers.

August: Be a better local. There's museums, amusement parks, free concerts, fun bars, tasty restaurants, bike trails, parks, old homes, all kinds of awesome stuff to do in Louisville (and the surrounding area. Hello Bourbon Trail.) that I have never seen. This goal could be subtitled: Get off your butt and explore.

September: Be crafty. Learn a new crafty skill or improve on one. Crochet, embroidery, and knitting are high on the list, although my sewing has tons of room for improvement.

October: Be a better cook. Work on trying new dishes and developing new skills. Cook more. I've been relying on frozen pizza a bit too much lately. (Digiorno flat bread with pepperonis and red peppers....yum!)

November: Be a movie buff. I'm hoping to watch 5-6 movies a month this year in an attempt to widdle (Is "widdle" not a word? Blogger is saying it's not. Hmm.) down my Netflix queue which is over 300. No, I'm not exaggerating that a bit. My DVD queue has 292 and my Instant queue has 69. There are a few repeats in the DVD and Instant queues, but that would probably trim off no more than 10.

December: Just be. Perhaps this would've been better at the beginning, but oh well. I'm hoping to do all of these things all year long, each month is just a focus and this is a reflection of this past (err...current) December and how my procrastination caused a mad holiday panic that did not result in peacefully enjoying the season. This year I want to enjoy Christmas. And all of those other moments where I let not-really-that-important-in-the-big-scheme-of-things tasks get in the way of my joy.

Do you guys have any resolutions? Crazy plans for 2010?

Happy New Year's! :)

For Brandy

I'm a cryer. I cry when I'm happy, sad, scared, sleep-deprived, grumpy, frustrated...you get the point. But sometimes I cry because someone is experiencing my worst nightmare, and it terrifies me and breaks my heart for them, whether it's Steel Magnolias ("I can run all the way to Texas and back but my Shelby can't" gets me every time and I've seen that movie like ten times.) or Brandy.

I don't know Brandy. I'm not even subscribed to her blog, but I will now because she seems awesome (I love Glee and juice boxes too!) and I want to be kept up to date on her hot awesome dude. Brandy is living her worst nightmare and when you're faced with a nightmare I don't know what to do but pray. I truly do believe in the power of prayer so I'm joining with several other bloggers to ask you to pray for Brandy's hot awesome dude. Here's the story:

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

image: 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/renneville/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Merry Christmas!

From the start of my memory Santa used special wrapping paper and had mysterious handwriting. Even though I now know where the special paper comes from and whose opposite-hand-handwriting is on the label, I insist that these things never change.

Christmas is here and I'm so excited. I'm excited about the presents I've opened and will open. I'm exciting to give Lee his presents. I will see many friends and family that I have not seen in far too long and ones that I'm lucky to see often. I will eat, eat, eat to the point of being uncomfortable and wonder why I can't stop putting chocolate in my mouth.



But my favorite part of Christmas, is on Christmas Eve at Christmas Eve mass. The exact moment varies but most often (and my preference) it is after Communion when someone sings Oh Holy Night, which is the most beautiful Christmas song ever and my absolute favorite. And I sit there, feeling all the Christmas hope, magic and wonder inside me. The love of family, the promise of salvation, this tiny gift from God, and I generally cry. Happy tears, of course. Even if the soloist is sub-par, the words of the song inspire me every time.

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of Our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world In sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd And the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope The weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts By His cradle we stand.

So led by light of A star sweetly gleaming,

Here come the wise men From Orient land.

The King of Kings Lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials Born to be our friend.

He knows our need, To our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Behold your King, Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us To love one another;

His law is love And His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break For the slave is our brother;

And in His name All oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy In grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us Praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory Evermore proclaim.

His power and glory Evermore proclaim.

Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Trying Harder

When I started blogging, my goals were just to actually blog about something -- anything -- on a semi-regular basis, like at least weekly. Then as I got more into it, I decided to blog regularly five days a week. And I did that for awhile, but I wasn't always satisfied with the product. Some days I would be busy and just slap up a YouTube video, which is fine, but it wasn't consistent with my blog goals (Be a better writer, tell stories...). So I decided to not force things anymore and I would write when I had something to say, hoping I would have things to say at least three times a week. (This last transition occurred within 24 hours of signing up for NaBloPoMo. Oh well, maybe next year.)

This morning I was reading this post from Writing Roads and now I'm rethinking the quantity/quality thing again. Julie's feelings on the matter are right:

I mean, I hear what they’re saying – which is basically, ‘Don’t post crap.’ But my response to that is this: Figure out a way to post something good. Work harder.

So I resolve to work harder, and find something worthwhile, everyday. Well, maybe just Monday through Friday. 


image: r3v || cls

Camera Shy

I didn't take any pictures Thanksgiving. I didn't even take my camera with me to Grandma's, which is where we do the bulk of our holiday celebrating. Even though I have an awesome new camera that I love playing with and need to practice more with. I left it at home, because sometimes, taking pictures makes me feel socially awkward.

It's one thing to take pictures when you're traveling or at a big event. Duh. That's what you do on those occasions. But I feel very self-conscious taking pictures of the Thanksgiving spread. Or secretly snapping shots of my family members chatting. Or taking pictures of the area around my Grandma's yard, which is actually pretty photogenic (dinner bell, old barns, antique farm equipment, huge areas of farmland).

This seems totally irrational. I'm sure it's irrational. But do you ever feel this way? There's almost something pretentious in taking pictures at times. Taking photos makes me feel like I'm saying, "I'm an artist. I'm talented. I'm capturing things that will be awesome, artistic and beautiful." And while I would love for that to be true, I don't really feel like it is. Yet. Sometimes I feel that way about blogging too. And maybe that's why this blog is about the only thing I've written outside of work or school in several years.

On a humorous note, my sister snuck out her Veggie Tales nativity scene (Laura and I love Veggie Tales! Mom thinks we're nuts!) and put it on our entry table. Mom was not amused. I did take lots of pictures of this. It was awesome.

In the Holiday Spirit

see more Epic Fails

I love Christmas. Christmas is easily my favorite holiday. Out of respect to Thanksgiving and to maintain my sanity (I can only function at 100% Christmas Cheer for so many weeks.) I wait until the day after Thanksgiving (sometimes staying up until midnight) to begin my holiday crazies. But really, my Thanksgiving excitement revolves more around days off from work and getting to wish people "Merry Christmas" in 24 hours than Thanksgiving just for the sake of it.

But I just don't feel that excited yet. It's not that I'm not excited, just not nearly excited as normal. I have some theories on this.

• Since I'm making a lot of my gifts this year, Christmas is now a huge deadline. It's always a deadline, but one that can be knocked out one diligent Saturday. Not this year though. My original goal had been to have everything made by Thanksgiving, or at least be at 75%, so I would not be exactly where I am at this moment: lots to do and less than a month to do it in. 

• I don't want this statement to be taken in the wrong way and -- oh dear, am I getting misty typing this?! -- but this will be my first Christmas not at home. I love Lee's family very much. I have been blessed with truly wonderful in-laws whom I enjoy so much and I'm looking forward to spending this Christmas with them, but it breaks my heart a little that I won't be at home with my family. I will be celebrating Christmas with them the weekend before, but it's not the same. 

• I'm really excited about 2010. Not so much the New Year holiday, but the whole year 2010. For the past three years I have been waiting for 2010 because that's when Lee's Army Reserve contract is up (September to be exact.). 2010 has been this illusive magic year when Lee's contract would end and we could start thinking more about babies and this wonderful year starts in like 35ish days! We're also going into serious house hunting mode in January, so as I put up our tree on Saturday, I'm really just thinking about our tree next year. In our front window. In our home. And Lee hanging lights outside. And holiday baking in my kitchen. And really starting our "home".

I'm still looking forward to Christmas. I will still get up on Friday morning and switch to my holiday ringtone and put on Zoey's holiday collar. Perhaps I'm just a little too excited about other impending excitements to really absorb this Christmas? But life is too precious for that.

Must. focus. on this. Christmas. Because I'm sure it will be plenty of wonderful.


Image inspired by Amy.

Two Dollars

I'm Catholic; Lee's Presbyterian. Sometimes to bridge the gap at dinner, I will say a freestyle grace.

I'm horrible at freestyle spoken prayer. (Not that anyone can be really bad at prayer because the important thing is that you pray, doesn't matter what you say.) I go off on tangents and say awkward things. For example, a few months ago while I was freestyling grace before dinner, I said, "Dear God, I just want to thank you for all the amazing and wonderful things you've blessed us with. [So far, so good...] I know a bitch a lot --"

What is wrong with me?! So in an attempt to apologize to God for all my complaining when I know how lucky and blessed I am, I said, "I know I bitch a lot." This is why I like to stick with "Bless us O Lord".

But in all honesty, and moving past my use of the b-word during prayer, I do complain way more than I should. I always want more when really, I have more than enough, more than most even.

When I think about areas to improve as a person and Christian, I think the biggest thing for me (and really what it all boils down to) is loving and giving generously. Sharing your love, time, fortune, gifts, chocolate chip cookies, extra tickets, hugs, anytime minutes generously with no holding back. Love love love. Give give give.

We were at Lee's church yesterday (I go to mass every week. Sometimes Lee comes too. Sometimes we go to his church. There's lots of church.) and the minister had a particularly challenging sermon seeing as he gave us all money. For real.


As we were reflecting on the story of the widow's mite and how when we give it's not from what belongs to us but from the abundance God has given us, he told us to pass out the envelopes that were at the ends of the pew. Inside was $2 to give to someone in need this week.



I'm really excited about my $2 and a chance to be a better giver. I haven't decided who's getting it yet. Louisville seems to be a hot spot for people collecting money at intersections, more so than anywhere I've lived. Or, my best friend just had her appendix taken out so she might need some flowers, cookies, or trashy magazines. (Okay, maybe trashy magazines aren't the best idea but they would be appreciated by the person in need!) Lots of options!

I was out one afternoon walking through the Highlands with some friends, one of whom was a friend of a friend I had never met before. We wandered by someone asking for money and friend-of-a-friend just gave the woman $5. As we moved on, someone made the comment wondering if the $5 was just going to the liquor store across the street, which was exactly what I was thinking. But then friend-of-a-friend said, "Well that's between her and God." Friend-of-a-friend is very wise.

Goal for my 26th year: Give more. Love more. Don't ask questions. Just give and love. Starting with this $2.

And maybe complain less too.

Just a Reminder

What's My Age Again?

I've seen The Hangover twice in theaters. And both times I was carded.

I'll be 26 in less than two months.


Really young me.

Yes, I know I'll love this when I'm 40, but I like to think I pass for a credible adult. At least someone in college maybe? I often don't feel like an adult without it being questioned. I still have no idea what I'm doing half the time and feel like I'm just playing the grown-up game, so I reason that if I could at least look the part...but apparently I don't.

And while I often can't shake the feeling that I'm still mentally 16, and can't convince movie theater attendants otherwise without an ID, I also feel quite old. Or maybe just boring.

I never really had a "wild" phase but there was a time when my Saturdays lasted until 3 a.m. and involved Walmart bubba kegs, vanilla vodka and the routine. Now, my social life has dwindled to $5 movies at Tinseltown, family gatherings, cookouts and 1 a.m. is a late night. I love all of the above, really I do, but we're still young and childless, shouldn't we be hitting up happy hours?

Example, tonight Lee and I are going to a concert (Blue October!). That's fun, young and hip! But I'm kind of hoping it will rain so I can just stay home in my jammies and watch the new season of Project Runway (so excited!!). (Lee's also hoping it rains so there's not much of a crowd.)

I have a plastic snake in my garden to keep squirrels out too.

But then, that's kind of the way I've always been. I spent my first few Saturday nights at college falling asleep on Caitlin's floor while watching a movie. Yet I know I still have the "party" in me, as evidenced by my "alertness" late into the evening at Jenn's bachelorette party and the magical return of my sweet dance skillz.

Besides, when I fall into bed, whether before or after midnight, I'm always pretty happy with my life, which is more important than looking like you're old enough to watch an R-rated movie.

The Reminder I Needed Yesterday but Got Today

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

Reminded by Writing Roads

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cytoon/ / CC BY 2.0